Zach Moniker

Driving and Fear Do Not Mix

Zach Moniker — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 05:07:58 +0000

Nor should they have to. I am proper scared for my life now while I am on the road. These Mattersville drivers are a damned new breed of drivers. Today I was cruising at a leisurely fifty miles an hour in the right lane. The center lane is at a dead stop waiting for the light to turn green. Some prick in that lane was jealous for real, son. Just as I was approaching he decided to change lanes. More importantly, when he changed lanes he didn’t much feel like changing pace. He just wanted some space or something and so he cut into my lane and remained stopped. I slammed my brakes and heard my tires spinning, skipping, and not stopping fast enough. I pulled my e-brake. Dawg, it felt like that did nothing but stink up the road. I would like to think it helped me to stop in time, but in reality, the car in front ended up hitting the gas a little sensing the danger. I came to a stop in the exact space they were occupying before they so graciously rolled forward for me. What a stand up guy driving that van.

Also, I was at a red light the other day. Just waiting there with my left turn signal on. Some cars pulled up behind me. I watched as the last of a few cars went through the intersection. A few seconds later, the lady behind me started honking. She looked most pissed, too. I looked at the light again but it was, in fact, still red. I don’t know why this chick was flipping out, but if she expected me to left-turn-through-lanes-of-active-traffic on red, she was up for some proper disappointment. I swear, these Mattersville drivers are insane sometimes.

Hoodrich: The Zach Moniker Story

Zach Moniker — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:46:45 +0000

So my room mate Rick and I just set up our apartment and it is so tight. We have approximately a fifty piece sectional. Estimated comfortably seatable people: A lot. The setup is most proper. We tried it out with some food from this local place, Timmy’s Grease Shack. They deliver so we chilled on the couch watching football until they came. It was pretty sweet. Definitely going to be ordering Timmy’s again.

I just can’t wait to start work. Really, all I have to do is put away my damn laundry. That’s pretty tragic because usually I’m too ~~lazy~~ busy to even do that. It just sits in my laundry basket and I rummage through to find stuff to throw on in the morning. I mean, who’s got the time nowadays, am I right?

Hello Internet!

Zach Moniker — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:46:05 +0000

Hey internet. How’s it going? I haven’t seen you here before. Would you like a drink? My name is Zach. Barkeep, I’ll take a London Fuller Porter, please! What are you doing in a place like this? Oh? What about me?

Well, today is my first day in Mattersville. I just accepted a job at Mega Awesome Games. I start in a week, so I have plenty of time to get settled here. Truth be told, I probably won’t unpack until about… ever. Really, I got my stuff sorted nice and neat in boxes. I know exactly where to look for everything because it’s marked in Sharpie. Who wants to ruin a good thing like that? Not me, that’s for damn sure, dawg. I got my bed set up. My computer desk is fixed up proper. I’m fine.

Man, first pay check I get, though, I need to get me one of those LCD, zillion inch, sixty hundred megapixel, flat-screen HDTVs. That would be so legit. I mean, rent or TV, it’s a pretty obvious choice, right? Maybe I can trick my room mate Rick into paying both halves of the rent.